Sh*t my kids say...

While eating my breakfast, eavesdropping on the kids playing in the family room, I overheard the following:

Tyson [while throwing a Thor hammer]: This is my hammer.  It is going to punch you in the face.  It will really hurt.  Oh yeah!  You ready?

Hayes [singing]: Jumping Jack Flash is a gas gas mask.

Tyson [to Isla]: Do you remember the time my poop had green things in it?
Isla: Oh yeah - don't worry, that's just flavor.

send in the clowns

Isla loves pop music ... and she has the knack for memorizing song lyrics.  But sometimes she gets them wrong.

David Guetta/ Sia - "Titanium" - actual lyric: 

Isla - a few weeks ago, in Denver.

Stone heart
Machine gun
Firing at the ones who run
Stone heart
Loves bulletproof glass

Isla's version:

Strong heart

Masheena

Firing at the ones who run

Strong heart

Loves bulletproof clowns

Oddly enough, my little sister, Sam, was the same way.

My brother, Jon, with my sisters, Lizzie and Sam.

Bush - "Come Down" - actual lyric:

I don't want to come back down from this cloud 

Sam (age 5) version:

I don't want to be a clown like this guy

It's all you will hear now.  You're welcome.

high/low

Today's high -- courtesy of Tyson:

Sometimes I get songs stuck in my hair.


And today's low -- courtesy of Hayes:

Mommy, you have old-looking boobs.

too much time with grandma.

In the bath last night, the kids were playing with their (Target dollar section) water guns.  Hayes and Tyson squirted each other in the face repeatedly, as they do.  Isla was pointing hers down, squirting the same small section of her washcloth over and over.  She noticed me watching her, and she looked up, smiled, and said, "I'm spraying the stain before it sets."

Whose kid is this?